The Six C's Of Restorative Communication

To have a restorative conversation addressing a concern, we must intentionally work to communicate from our wisest, best self. When we show up following the six c's, we are more likely to have a productive conversation. To best do this, I have created a guide. Follow the steps below using at least one questions from each section below.

 Calmness  to bring out your best self

Slow it down, Connect, get Curious, and listen to understand

★ With the inhale check in to see if you are feeling dysregulated. 

★ With the exhale let go of what you think is happening and your assumptions- looking for implicit bias. All humans want to be in good relationships! Your tone matters!

★ Check if the other person is regulated before the conversation 

Connection

Humanize every interaction. Make sure this is the best time to have the conversation and acknowledge the feelings of the other party.

Hey (name], I am noticing… I see you are struggling (off task, upset, look annoyed, seem sad etc)...

I sometimes struggle too… (Acknowledge, Reveal, Encourage)

Compassion 

Normalize conflict whether internal or external

 It must be hard to... Who else might this be hard for…? 

How were you affected? Who else might have been affected?

Curiosity  

Never assume, rather lean in to find out the backstory.

What's going on for you today? What were you hoping for?  What led up to this?  What were you thinking or feeling at the time?   What have you been thinking about since?

Collaboration

CREATE a plan-together. One that is not based on punishment, but loving accountability. INCLUDE a time to check back in.

I think we can work together to make this right, what are your thoughts...? 

What do you think needs to happen…? 

What can you or we do to avoid this next time…? What support do you need?

In school, I need/want you to _______ because ________

Celebration     

JOY is healing, so take time to acknowledge the progress.

I appreciate…(you talking to me, you working things out, how we can work together, you taking your time to help me understand etc) Celebrate even small gains!